Here's what I know:

I drove into a gas station, directions for to get,
When a guy came out to greet me, like the guy on the TV Set.
I thought that he'd salute me like there all suppossed to do,
But when he saw my mop his jaw half dropped and his hair had turned to blue.
(Chorus)

Now I could see that his here fella didn't think too much of me,
So I thought I'd see what would happen if I tried some flattery.
I told him he had lovely eyes, and that his ass was cute,
And that his plastic Bow-tie went real lovely with his suit.
(Chorus)

When I tried to tell him that Jesus had hair as long as mine,
and so did all the others, in the Bible he would find,
He cried out why that's sacrilage, that's goddamn herisey,
As far as I know, The Lord had a goddamn brush-cut just like me.
(Chorus)

Song was done by Big Montana Dick