gnu, you might want to take a look at another good book, called Love, Medicine, and Miracles by Dr. Bernie Siegel.   

There are as many ways of "dealing" with this situation as there are people. But the biggest message, as others have said, is, DON'T BUY INTO WHAT THE DOCTORS SAY! (And I say that as a doctor.) Too many people have died "on schedule" because they thought they were doing what their doctor wanted them to do--and that's the honest no-shit truth. In point of fact, no doctor on earth can tell for certain how long a particular person will live. Period. On the other hand, it doesn't do any good to tell a person how he can live longer and better if he really doesn't want to live. All you can do is be as ALIVE as possible when you're with him and talking to him...and let him draw his own conclusions.

And do get in touch with a hospice...as soon as possible. Most people who work in hospices say their biggest frustration is that they are usually contacted way too late. They can always kick him out of the program later if he decides to get better.

Aloha,
Mark