Gnu, faced with cancer, many people think "I don't want to die," immediately followed by family concerns such as "what will happen to my children!" Since he doesn't apparently have children, he's still probably struggling with the first part of that.

You say he is holding a grudge, but I hope he will let the ex know what is happening. She will feel terrible enough anyway when she learns of his death, but perhaps a reconciliation if some sort would help them both feel better about the whole thing?

So he's wild, but he's dying. What can he choose to do that will give him the most bang for his buck? Can he take a cruise to the South Pacific or the Caribbean and float in those wonderful blue waters over white sand? Doesn't sound like he'll be going to climb any mountains or run a big dream race. Go somewhere exotic, but where help is available with his prescriptions and pain medication if he needs it. I suppose Max's answer is a "guy thing," but sounds a bit reckless. At least encourage him to choose things that won't harm another person (unprotected sex, for example. It's great if you can manage it, but depending on his partner(s) he could put them at great risk.)

Suicide is a very difficult thing to contemplate. But if he decides that he needs a plan for the point when his pain becomes too great, then assisting him with preparations might be the greatest act of love you can do for him. But take pity on the friends and family who will be shocked, hurt, and left behind to mourn--be sure his affairs are in order and that if he is inclined to leave messages or instructions for friends and family that he does so in plenty of time. Having gone through a recent suicide of a loved one, I can say that the more information he leaves for friends, the better it will be for them.

Good luck in dealing with this. My heart goes out to you.

Maggie