Saul- You said: "Conservatives believe they have all the answers and that new inquiry is only a distraction, punishable by not less than 5 and not more than 20 years. Liberals believe that we can always learn new ways of doing things and revisit our beliefs in light of new information or insights. In this regard, once again, I am proud to be a Liberal."
You proved one thing- that Liberals DO have a sense of humour. You don't think that those definitions you gave might have been a touch slanted to be favorable to your point of view, do you? I'll turn it around.
My definition of a conservative is on who conserves that which is good from the past with an eye toward the future.
My definition of a liberal is one who is more interested in throwing the proverbial baby out with the bathwater in order to put feel-good theory into practice whilst completely ignoring history. (No that's not my ACTUAL definition of a liberal- but I'm doing what you did in the opposite direction.)
Alright- my actual definition of a liberal is someone who is more swayed by an emotional argument than a logical one. I tend to see the proposed liberal solutions to problems as being like putting a band-aid on a gusher of a wound rather than applying pressure. The band-aid may temporarily slow the flow of blood- but it's going to lose its effectivness after its soaked through...