The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #57719   Message #909962
Posted By: Alice
14-Mar-03 - 11:03 AM
Thread Name: BS: American jokes
Subject: RE: BS: American jokes
A North Dakotan Game:
Two North Dakotans go into a dark closet.
One sneeks out, and the other one tries to guess who is missing.


How many American tourists does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifteen. Five to figure out how much the bulb costs in the local currency, four to comment on "how funny-looking" local lightbulbs are, three to hire
a local person to change the bulb, two to take pictures, and one to buy postcards in case the pictures don't come out.


The federal government is trying to decide whether The FBI, the CIA, or the Los Angeles Police Department is the most effective at
apprehending criminals. The issue is to be decided with a test - a rabbit is put in a forest and each organization has to find it.

    The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of
extensive investigation, they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

    The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies.
The rabbit had it coming.

    The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!


It is said that Mohandas Ghandi was asked, "What is your opinion of American civilization?"

His reply: "I think it would be an excellent idea."


An American, an Australian, and a Canadian are drinkng beer.

      The American grabs his beer, knocks it back in one gulp, and then throws the glass into the air and shoots it with his handgun. As he sets the
handgun on the bar, he tells the Canadian and the Australian that in the great U.S. of A, they have so much money they never drink out of the same
glass twice.

      Next the Australian drinks his beer, throws the glass into the air and shoots the glass with the American's gun. As he sets the gun back on the
bar he, proclaims that in Australia they have so much sand that glass is cheap, and he too never drinks out of the same glass twice.

      Next the Canadian drinks his beer, grabs the gun off the bar, and shoots the American. As he sets the gun back on the bar, he tells the
Australian, "In Canada, we have so many Americans you never have to drink with the same one twice".