Dear Boss I write this note to you, to tell you of my plight and at the time of writing I am not a pretty sight. Me body is all black and blue and my face a deadly gray. So I hope you'll understand, why I'm not at work today.
I was workin' on the 14th floor, some bricks I had to clear. And throwin' 'em down from such a height, was not a good idea. The foreman wasn't very pleased, he bein' an awful sod, he said I'd have to take them down the ladder in me hod.
Now shiftin' all those bricks by hand seemed so awful slow. So I hoisted up a barrel and secured a rope below. But in my haste to do the job, I was too blind to see, that a barrel full of buildin' bricks was heavier than me. So when I untied the rope the barrel fell like lead and clinging tightly to the rope, I started up instead. I shot up like a rocket and to my dismay I found that halfway up, I met the bloody barrel comin' down.
The barrel broke me shoulder, as to the ground it sped And when I reached the top, I struck the pulley with me head I still clung on though numbed with shock, from this almighty blow. Then the barrel spilled out half the bricks some 14 floors below.
Now when the bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor, I then outweighed the barrel and I started down once more. Still clinging tightly to the rope, I headed for the ground and I fell among the broken bricks that were all scattered 'round
As I lay there moaning on the floor, I thought I'd passed the worst. But the barrel struck the pulley wheel and then the bottom burst. A shower of bricks came down on me, I didn't have a hope and as I was losing consciousness, I let go the bloody rope.
Now the barrel it being heavier, it started down once more and it landed right across me, as I lay there on the floor. I broke three ribs and my left arm and I can only say; That I hope you'll understand, Why I'm not at work today!