Thank you for writing about him so eloquently. It reminds me of a couple of lost friends of my own.

Death of someone you love sucks. It may be a gift, it may be a relief somehow, but it still sucks. Even if we hold out hope of seeing the person again someday, that just never really makes up for the fact that we can't get them on the phone ever again, we can't hear them laugh or hug them. I'm sorry you're going through this.

A good song if you want Grief music is "Time to learn", on the CD Tim O'Brien and the Oh Boys. But don't listen to it if you have to go anywhere afterwards because you may not be up to it. At least that was my reaction the first several times I heard it.

People say you get over the loss. I'm not so sure that's true, really. You just get distracted, and it kind of crusts over. But the volume goes down. Blessings on you.