Well, Steve, I have good news! Your summer buzzards are our winter buzzards. Yep, the danged things show up late in the fall and leave in March, which is good news to Leesburg's Officer Sargent Skeeter Moxley. Poor old Skeeter, who went to school with my wife, was assigned "Buzzard Duty" every year and like Wylie Coyote, every year he came back with a new method to keep Buzzard Roadrunner out of the trees in downtown Leesburg.
Yeah, it was either timed charges that sounded like gun shots or sirens or...
Well, you're gonna love this one, Steve. Two years ago, which was the last year before poor old Skeeter's institutionalization, he came up with the perfect plan. Yep, he purchased a very large cage/trap. The idea was to catch all the buzzards and carry them off to some unsuspecting community in the darkness of night and relaese then danged things onto a perfectly innocent community.
Well, first of all, I think that poor old Skeeeter was in way over his head with the moving of these nasty birds because they're protected and like, ahhh, they are birds and birds seem to know how to find their way home. But nevermind logic here.
So Skeeter had this grand buzzard cage trap designed and made by the Acme Buzzard Trap Co. and set it out with a bunch of road kill that he had collected in the trap and well, folks thought that Skeeter, afetr years of being defreated by a bunch of things with bird brains, was gonna win one.
So there was the trap and the moment of truth. At the day's end the buzzards made their customary return but this time found a trap filled with all kinds of roadkill goodies and all fo them had the same idea: party! Well, all 356 of them landed on the trap and at an avergae weight of 15 pounds each, it don't take a Wes Ginny slide rule to tell ya that that is one heck of a lot of collective buzzard! Well, Steve, you guessed it. Those two tons of buzzards exceeded the one-ton-of-buzzards lomits on the trap and the danged thing jst collapsed under the weight!
Like I said, this was just before poor old Skeeter's little visit with the good doctors. They're letting him out on the weekends now but only under the condition that he doesn't look up.