FOOLISH QUESTIONS
- Recorded by Sheb Wooley - -(aka Ben Colder)
Written by Arthur Smith

Y'all have heard about Foolish Questions, and no doubt you've wondered why
The person who would ask them, expects a sensible reply
Did you ever bring your girl a box of candy, say, right after tea
D'ja notice how she'll grab it, and she'll say "Is this for me?"

Foolish Questions, you should answer when you can
No, the candy's for you daddy and mama and John the hired hand
I just wanted you to see it, now I'm gonna take it away
Wasn't that a Foolish Question, you'll hear 'em nearly every day.

You all have seen the man, who meets you on your way
He'll ask you, "Where you are goin", and he'll listen while you say
"That you're goin' to the funeral, of poor old Brother Ned"
And just as soon as you told him, he'll say, "Is Ned dead?"

Foolish Questions, this should be your reply
No, we'd thought we'd have the funeral and then later on he'd die
Brother Ned is so original, he wanted it that way
Now wasn't that a Foolish Question, you'll hear 'em nearly every day.

Suppose an elevator boy forgets to close that door
And you should tumble down the shaft, say, like twenty-seven floors
As you reach the bottom, and you're layin' there inert
The first person that comes along, will say, "Are you hurt?"

Foolish Questions, your dyin' words are "No-o-o"
"I was in an awful hurry, and this elevator runs too slow
I find I save an awful lot of time, by comin' down this way"
Now wasn't that a Foolish Question, you hear 'em nearly every day.