Ebbie - Ri-i-i-i-i-i-ght.

Yes, well, that is a conundrum, isn't it? Have I forwarded you that great offer I received by email recently? No? I'll paste it in below:

MIRACLE SPELLING COURSE! LEARN TO SPELL "IN THREE DAYS!!!"

Do you have trouble spelling simple, common words? Words like "wrestle" and "soda pop"? We bet you do! Well, relief is just days away...

Apply for the Slobodovich Miracle Spelling Course NOW!!! In 3 days or less you will find, (YOUR NAME), that you can correctly spell not only simple words and phrases like "Wiarton Willie", but even more complicated ones like: "My concubine has a tremendous cucumber lodged in her vestibule."

Think how much your self esteem will increase! Think how much more other people will respect you, realizing that you, (YOUR NAME), are not a dumbass, but a highly educated and cultured gent/lady!

Just for a teaser, we are going to give you the first part of our 3 day course ABSOLUTELY FREE!!!!

YES! THAT'S WHAT WE SAID! ABSOLUTELY FREE!!!

Are you ready?

Right then. Here we go. Lesson 1: How to spell the word "in".

Now "in" is a deceptively simple word that many people have great difficulty spelling. Some get it confused with "inn" (which means a restaurant, bed & breakfast, etc.). Others get it confused with "inne" which means the same as "inn" only it's more old-fashioned. Some even get it confused with "out" because they're dyslexic...or just confused.

Be confused no more! Just take a letter "i" and write or type it. Now take a letter "n" and write or type it immediately after the "i", and PRESTO! You have the common and useful word "in" correctly spelled, and will be admired and respected by people everywhere.

You have now completed the first 1/3 of your 3 Day Course! It's amazingly easy, isn't it? Do you feel more confident now, (YOUR NAME)? We thought you did!

Please send a cheque or money order for $500 to Yurko Slobodovich, Box 99, Coldwater, Ontario for the remainder of your 3 part course on spelling. You will NOT be disappointed!

Keep tuned for our next great course: LEARN TO PRONOUNCE "NUKULAR"!!!