Aw go on, Skipper -- get yourself one of those back-girdle thingies. Give it a shot. You've certainly got the voice for it. "And on youah raht you'll see the Baylor house, folks, long-time residence of the dumbest jehk ever caught a crab with an oah, known from heah to Boothbay as a moronic son-of-a-bitch who couldn't poah piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel! Moving on, you'll see up ahead one of the wohst restaurants on the entire coast of Maine..."

Oh, I think you'll attract them by the tens of thousands, Kendall!!

I think it'd be a hoot!

A