***PAID ADVERTISEMENT***

Jihad Tours, a Division of Fly-By-Night Industries, is proud to announce our annual "Mid-East Hot Spot Extravaganza Tour" for 2003. You'll fly from New York to Tel Aviv on one of our fleet of aging 707's which we fly for your personal safety.   These jets are so outmoded and clapped out that no one will hi-jack them. After a tour of this modern city you will be whisked away through Israel to see the sights in one of our fleet of VW "Things" specially appointed with a gaily covered canopy top with a target in the middle. All previous swastika insignia have been removed. You'll have fun in the sun on the Gaza Strip and the West Bank and then on to Syria! Here you'll not only be greeted as only Americans can be, but you'll be supplied with rations which are hard to digest and guarantee you a case of the blazing shits for your next three days......the big trip to Baghdad! You and the Thing will zip down to cradle of civilization where you can see the Iraqi Minister of Information explain that no bastard infidel mercenary Americans are within the city as he gets cornholed by an Abrams. Our most clapped out 707 will meet you at the newly liberated Baghdad International and you'll fly to Afghanistan where you will not land because accomodations are limited to rooms without walls. But for your sightseeing best we will do a flyover at 500 feet and then return you and what's left of your belongings to New York providing the fucker ain't brought down by groundfire and a welcome home on us at Ground Zero, the former home of the WTC. Cost of this tour is $12,849.00, and in accordance with Fly-By-Night Industries policies, payable in advance.