Well, let's get rid of the lewd ones right away...........
Q: What's the difference between a mosquito and a blonde? A: When you slap a mosquito, it will stop sucking.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Atlantic Coast? A: The Atlantic Coast would never have that many crabs.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a taxi cab? A: You have to pay to ride in a taxi cab.
Q: How do you give a blonde more headroom? A: Adjust the steering wheel.
Q: Why did the blonde have lip stick on her steering wheel? A: She was trying to blow the horn.
Q: Why does a blonde wear panties? A: To keep her ankles warm.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the local football team? A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.
Q: How does a blonde turn on the lights after having sex? A: Opens the car door.
Q: What do blondes and cow pies have in common? A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders? A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!
Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg? A: Nothing. They've never met.
Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle? A: They are both screwed when they're on their back.
Q: What did the blonde's mom say to her before she went out? A: If you're not in bed by midnight, come home.
Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme? A: Humpme Dumpme.
Q: What is the difference between a circus and a group of blondes? A: At the circus you'll find a cunning array of stunts.
Q: What did the blonde do when her doctor told her she had sugar in her urine? A: She peed on her corn flakes.
Q: What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency? A: She turned it over and used the other side.
Q: What did the really dumb blond say when someone blew in her bra? A: Thanks for the refill.
Q: What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless Ming vase? A: "It's OK Daddy, I'm not hurt."
Q: How does a blonde commit suicide? A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.
Q: How do you plant dope? A: Bury a blonde.
Q: Why did god give blonds 2% more brains than horses? A: Because he didn't want them shitting in the streets during parades.
Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? A: Wave to her.
Q: How does a blonde measure his/her IQ? A: With a tire gauge! (da da dum)
Q: How does a blonde get pregnant? A: And I thought blondes were dumb!
Q: How does a blonde part their hair? A1: (Action of scissoring legs apart) A2: By doing the splits.
Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm? A1: She drops her nail-file! A2: Who cares? A3: She says, "Next". A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder. A5: He's had his clothes for about 2 minutes. A6: I mean, who really cares? A7: The batteries have run out.
Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
Q: How does a blonde like her eggs? A: Unfertilized.
Q: How do you drown a blond? A1: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool. A2: Don't tell her to swallow. A3: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.
Q: How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping? A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.