okay okay okay okay okay.... so like I can't stand it any LONGer?   yaKNOW?

So I have to tell you about this ACTUAL BLONDE MOMENT from a few years ago. Not a joke (sorry Sandy Creek) but, like, what-EVER....
It was my quintessential blonde moment and I have to share it with the class.

So I'm driving to a gig across a long, fairly deserted stretch of highway in the S.F. Bay Area (Hwy 37 for those of you keeping score at home...)

...by the way, this reminds me that during televised soccer games a friend of mine used to yell "...he shoots, he SCOOOOORES... he goes home with a blonde, he SCOOOOORES..."

...but I digress...

So I'm driving to this gig and I hear a funny sound under my car and I think maybe I'm dragging something, and I pull over and get out and look under the car. Nothing. Then I go back to get in and realize that I've instinctively locked my door before closing it, and the car is still running. Idiot.

Fine. I hike back several miles to the nearest payphone and call AAA (the emergency road service.) I explain that I have locked my keys in the car while it is still running and I need them to come and jimmy the lock. They ask the usual questions so that they can locate the car...

"Where is the vehicle, ma'am?" the dispatcher inquires.
"On Hwy 37 about 3 miles east of Sears Point Rd." I responded.
"And what does the vehicle look like?" he says.
"It's a white Chrysler convertable." says I.   There was a pause.
"Ma'am..." he says, "The top is up, right??"

I swear, if I could have reached through the receiver and grabbed this Jethro by the ears, I would have pulled him and his clever little eyelash-batting-blonde-detector through the phone, and pounded his head on the counter of the 7-11 like a Warner Bros. cartoon at that very moment.

The THOUGHT of him sitting there at his AAA dispatch desk, seriously trying to confirm that the girl on the phone had not actually "locked" her keys in the convertible WITH THE TOP DOWN, then hiked 3 miles to call emergency road service...

I still want to take a hostage when I think about it!   :o) Okay, maybe I have some issues...but I'm in a 12-step program now. (Although each of the 12 steps are really tiny, because you can't take big steps in these platform stilettos with the ankle straps...)


p.j.