I have tried to explain khandu's problem but it's obvious that he's in denial. If he joined the army right now, he could also be in da' Tigris and da' Euphrates as well.

He seems to be having a tough time of it. His business is also suffering as the stock at "Big Bubba's Slightly Used Bedsheet Emporium" has trickled down due to the lack of fiery cross rituals. Perhaps the only real solution is to have all of us chip in and get him a few gallons of kerosene.

Spaw