Well....

Well.....

Today is another day. The remains of my macaroni and cheese has just been eaten by Heather. I BEGGED her to at least put some milk in it before microwaving, but once again I was admonished for trying to excercise to much control!!

"Stop telling me how to eat"!!! she purred.

Now, one thing I should make clear here, is that I describe my disasters in comedic detail for comedic reasons. In fact, my cooking is generally very inventive, (thanks to a bad memory and never using recipes) and non-toxic (most of the time).

The great "SAUSAGE MASACREE" of 1983 (where I actually threw the whole friggin' mess out the window) was an anomily.

The "SPAM ATTACK" (served as a joke to my new wife Heather, who said that in Glasgow, Spam was actually considered a 'foodstuff') was unfortunate I admit. I really should NOT have looked closely at it. Ten to one, if I'd looked the other way AND held my nose while eating it, the whole "vomit thing" would NOT have happened.

The "Hot Chili" incident could have happened to anybody. The damn top from the dried chili peppers simply came off. What the hell was I supposed to do? Hunt around spooning flakes out, or chucking an otherwise great-looking chili in the garbage? Most of our guests recovered, and we didn't need that cat anyway.

Rick