Petition to Mr. George W. Bush, President

Dear Mister President,

We the undersigned do hereby petition the President of The United States of America to return the large bronze statue commonly known as "The Statue of Liberty" to the people and/or government of the country known as "France". Insofar as the seldom showerin' , blue-cheese-eatin', galwoize galouwaz stinky black cigarette-smokin' French people and, particularly, their President (who thinks that the opinions of the people who elected him are more important than the opinion of the Leader of the Free World) , have really pissed a buncha us off, we don't want the damned thing no more. In our opinions, it has became a eye-sore.

Yes, Mister President, it's true. You yourself may not have knew this, but we have discovered that the Statue of Liberty was gave to us Americans by them French people back about a hunnert 'n twenty year ago. We was shocked! Hell, we didn't think it was already here when Columbus discovered the place or nothin', but we sorta figgered it was either made here or come from some nice agreeable country like England where they at least sorta speak the same language (At least we think they do, though we have a pretty hard time understandin' them Monty Python guys. An' that Trainspottin' movie - what'n the double-dee hell was that all about?)

Anyways, since them French folks have dissed you so bad, we have decided that we don't want their ole statue no more. It's bad enough that they went and named all the fries in MacDonalds and Burger King and Wendie's after theirselves and we had to go and rename 'em Freedom Fries. We just don't think that havin' a national emblem with any conexion conneckshun ties to them French folks is aproporate apporparite a good idea any more.

Sincerely Your'n,

Bubba Clem Bodine

Chairman, Committee to Get Rid of Everthing French