Okay, I've been resisting, but the rest of you have all been so honest that I have to take my turn.

New bride, married 3 weeks. New husband loves lemon meringue pie, and she has never made one, but how hard can it be?

She makes up her big batch of pastry dough, rolls out enough for the pie plate, pricks it, chills it 30 minutes, re-pricks it, pops in the oven. Ten minutes later the pastry has shrunk to a tiny blob in the middle of the pie plate.

So she rolls out another batch, pricks it, chills it 1 hour, re-pricks it, into the oven. Ten minutes later, pastry is a small blob in the middle of the pie plate.

Using the last of the pastry, she rolls it out a final time, pricks it, chills it 1 hour, re-pricks it, and in a rage of tears, SCOTCH TAPES THE EDGES OF THE PASTRY TO THE PIE PAN and pops it in the oven. Ten minutes later, the pastry has torn away from the scotch tape, the tape has melted, and . . . the pastry has shrunk to a tiny blob in the middle of the pie plate.

That night we had the pie filling as pudding for dinner. I learned later that the pastry recipe I used does not make a pre-baked pie shell, and that if you try . . . see above.