Charley, I play fast and loose with songs I like, or ones I don't like, myself. But I much prefer Jon's original version. I do not hear the images of the uses the steel might see as cynical at all. I found them poignant in Jon's quixotic way, and the mix of lofty and earthy just fits Jon's sand-and-ashes voice and delivery. His songs have so often gone from the ridiculous and sublime in a line; this is one effective way of capturing real life. His wit defies belief on occasion, and the puns about shaving, under the smile, sketch a glimpse of a minute immortality.
I gather you know Jon. Do you have his earlier recordings? (The assorted tapes?)