Here are a few of the lighter aspects of pastoral care (the professional term is "bullshit")--

The following are not meant as jokes and must be received with serious compassion and respect:

"If I had known you were coming over, Father, I'd have dusted the Bible."

"Oh, wait-- I wanted to show you my new breast!" (Disappears into bedroom) "Here, hold it while I get you a linen cloth for the table." (At a home communion, about the new prosthesis.)

"My wife and I are wondering, when she passes over, do I drive her to the funeral home and do they send her to the crematory, or do I take her there?" (A detail to settle the last act of love and care from a husband about to lose a dear wife, wanting to do it right.)


More on care of clergy, or actually spotting them before they're collared-- If the individual does not have a sense of humor at least half as sick as Spaw's, s/he cannot be a priest and might only be a deacon or a really cool lay person. Real priests have that baaaaaaaaad streak in their humor. No human being can be as holy, ALL the time, as a priest has to be when on active duty. The humanity's gotta get out of control once in awhile, and humor is the safest spot for it to pop.

~Susan