The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #57719 Message #937033
Posted By: thehiker
21-Apr-03 - 09:09 AM
Thread Name: BS: American jokes
Subject: RE: BS: American jokes
An American visitor to Ireland was sitting in a West Cork pub listening to the conversation of the locals. He motions to the barman for another Beamish and when his drink is brought over he remarks to the barman on the range of topics being discussed and expertise of opinions being offered by the locals. As the barman is turning away the Yank says in a very obvious manner that he is more than surprised at the apparent intelligence of the Irish as the world and his dog know that the Irish are thick.The barkeep turns and says in his best stage Oirish "that sir is on account of the smartness pills we do take here abouts" Well says the Yank if that is the effect that those smartness pills have on an inferior intellect just think what the effect on the superior American brain would be.I have to have those pills said the Yank."Fair enough say's the barkeep but they are $50 each."Price is no object get the pills says the tourist"
The barman go's out to a small field at the rear of the pub and puts three round "pills"of goat shit in a bag that has a little icing sugar in he gives the bag a good shake to coat the "pills"and returns to the bar.
"Now say's the barman swollow this smart pill straight down and we will see the result. $50 is handed over and the Yank swollows the "pill".
Half an hour with no visable improvement in the Yanks smartness another "pill"is purchased and swollowed in the same manner as the first.
Another half hour passes and the Yank is no smarter so the third and final pill is purchased and as he hands the pill to the Yank the barman says "Tis obvious that you are a severe case so the best thing to do is to chew this last pill and we'll see what happens"
The Yank bites down on the pill and immediatly spits out the offending item and stands at the bar spluttering,spitting and trying to wipe the taste from his tongue on the sleeve of his coat.
"Suffering Christ says the Yank I have just spent $150 to eat shit"
"Now your getting smart said the barman"