Here's something you can try to keep the right kind of tears flowing. Think of people watching you do this, with delighted, relaxed, quiet faces.... (Look up my Mudcat picture where I am standing with AMos and his young daughter Barky, in the EVENTS section, and use our faces if you like.) As you do the following, think of us just paying attention to you, waiting but not pressuring you.

Next, think of a song you wish you felt like singing. Then think of the best times in your life at the same time... Then think of opening your throat enough to sing that song relaxedly and in fill expressive power. Then, take a deep relaxed breath as though starting the song, and try to get that relaxed, open throat just right. Next try starting the song.

Somewhere along that continuum of thoughts and actios, I bet the tears will start. Go ahead and let them out. Every time they start to slow down, go back over the sequence to find the spot where the fresh spurt of tears is, and take the time to breathe and cry at that spot. Do this over and over till you feel like yawning, then yawn yourself off to a good healing nap.

This is what I call good-news crying-- it's not at all, on the inside, like crying directly about the loss. The attention is put and kept on the thing we want or miss, the goodness of it, and our own inherent power and goodness. (It's like the happy tears at a wedding or childbirth.) It's far more healing and adding someone else's attention to it multiplies the healing power.

You will find that this kind of crying leads to spontaneous musings about the big questions wrapped up in the know of topics these hurts touch upon inside you. Not only will you feel better, you will find yourself able to think and act much more flexibly about anything connected to it, even things you did not realize were connected.

You can use these kinds of techniques to reclaim anything you have "lost" to numbness or rigid negativity of any sort.

And I look forward to hearing all about the wonderful things you will remember... you can retaste all the sweetness you've known, and put it back in your life, in the present. All you need to remember is that reclaiming the joy that got shut down with the hurt is something you can do, you are absolutely strong enough to do it and you do not have to do it alone; it will bring you more joy than you think you've lost.... and remember that every act of subversion against that numbness brings the best we humans can be, out into the world where it belongs, in a world that needs it so much.

So------ come on out! :~)

~Susan