I'm sorry -- ban me if you want to, but I HAVE to do this here, as this thread is about language.

Tony Blair is visiting an Edinburgh hospital. He enters a ward full of patients with no obvious sign of injury or illness and greets one.

The patient replies: "Fair fa your honest sonsie face, Great chieftain o' the puddin race, Aboon them a you take your place, Painch, tripe or thairm, As langs my airm."

Blair is confused, so he just grins and moves on to the next patient.

The patient responds: "Some hae meat and canna eat, And some wad eat that want it, But we hae meat and we can eat, So let the Lord be thankit."

Even more confused, and his grin now rictus-like, the PM moves on to the next patient, who immediately begins to chant: "Wee sleekit, cowerin, timrous beasty, Thou needna start awa sae hastie, Wi bickering brattle."

Now seriously troubled, Blair turns to the accompanying doctor and asks "What kind of facility is this? A mental ward?"

"No", replies the doctor. "This is the serious Burns unit."