Sorcha, thanks for your hints, it saved me lots of typing.

Anyway, if a state or national park ranger has a gun, he's a cop, with the same training as the local municipal cops. I can't count how many people have flagged me down, only to say"Oh, I thought you were the police", or "Can you call the police". After spending valuable time convincing them that I can help them, they tell me that their car has been stolen, or their daughter has been molested, or something equally serious, and by now the perpetrator is miles away.

If you're hiking, take note of the trail you're on. In parks, most of them have names and colored trail markings. It doesn't do any good to call the park office on your cell phone and say you're lost or injured and then describe the place you're at by saying "I don't know where I am, but it's the place with all the trees", or something else just as vague.

If it's getting dark and you didn't bring a flashlight, retrace your steps, don't keep going ahead. There aren't any street lights in the woods. (city people have no concept of this). One of my favorite dumb conversations when looking for lost hikers in February: "It didn't get dark this early last time I was here" "When was that?" "Last July".

If there's a ban on camp fires, that means THERE'S A GOD-DAMN BAN ON GOD-DAMN CAMPFIRES!!! A fire doubles in size every minute, and that bottle of spring water you have won't do a thing. A fire ban means that it's been really dry for a long time. A slight drizzle after a three month drought doesn't mean the drought is over. Remember that happened in Colorado last summer?

If you're from another state, check the fishing and hunting laws. They vary from one state to another. "I don't need a fishing license at home" is not an excuse.

Don't come into a park at midnight and expect to find a campsite. Plan your trip ahead and reserve a site if you can, or start looking for a place before it gets dark. And please, if the campgroung is full, don't say "Well, that's just f**king fine! Where can I camp?",
because I'd love to help you, but I didn't fill up the campground myself, and I won't be cursed at.

Don't rely on AAA guides for accuracy concerning camp grounds. All state parks issue their own brochures, and they know more than anyone about their parks. (AAA states that New Jersey campgrounds are open all year, they actually close in the winter. I've turned away a lot of dissappointed angry campers who trusted another source for their information).

Bring everything you need to camp. Most parks are in rural areas (Duh), and there are no Wal-Marts around for miles. And don't yell at the rangers because of this, we don't build Wal-Marts.

Have a safe and pleasant summer, Ranger Steve.