The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #59418   Message #951247
Posted By: GUEST,Mrs. Bee
12-May-03 - 04:14 PM
Thread Name: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Dear People of The Mudcat Cafe,

As you can see, I am not a member of your, purportedly, folk music forum. I am, in fact, the wife of one of your members - a fellow who calls himself "Bee-dubya-ell". I am posting here to ask you to please release my poor husband from the peculiar power that this particular thread, "The Mother of All BS Threads" seems to exert over him.

It all began about a week ago when I began to hear keystrokes and chuckles coming from the other room. Within a few nights the chuckles had been replaced by sounds similar to those emitted by a braying jackass. Then, just a couple of nights ago, I heard an uproar and went to investigate, only to find that my poor husband had flung open the front door and was rolling in the leaf litter while laughing uncontrollably. Well, at that point, I made him show me this particular thread and I must admit to having read the first hundred or so posts. However, I absolutely fail to see what the attraction is. Some wacko from Tupelo pretending to be a king. A fellow Hoosier who unmercifully slaughters the English language. A Canadian who worships William Shatner. A San Diegan that only William F. Buckley could understand. And what in the hell is a Spaw? The only participant who seems to have any sense is Artbrooks who, incidentally, is the only one whom I have actually met in the flesh.

Even after reading this exercise in extended drivel I was willing to just accept that my husband's apparent fixation on this thread is relatively harmless... until last night. My poor husband came to bed at about two o'clock in the morning with an idiot grin on his face and immediately fell asleep. Within minutes he began to have nightmares and cry out in his sleep, "Buzzards! Porta-potties! Ducks! Coots! Sea gulls! Armadillos! Walmart! Lariat! Idjit! Bullshit!". I tried to wake him, but to no avail. I shook him vigorously only to have him mutter, "Nor of things!" or something like that.

People, I am at the end of my rope. I am afraid that if this behavior on the part of my once normal husband does not cease I may be forced to take drastic action. I noticed from what I did read of this thread that some forum members have apparently found cures for their bizarre behaviors at someplace called the NYCFTTS, whatever that stands for. If you think my husband could benefit from a brief stay there, please send details.

Thank you for your indulgence.

Mrs. Bee