The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #51581   Message #952405
Posted By: Dead Horse
14-May-03 - 08:25 AM
Thread Name: Lyr Req: Go down you bugged computer
Here is what I can remember + a few added (as is traditional with shanties - parodies may have a stricter format ;-)
Verse lines omitted for brevity (bg)

Break down, you old computer, break down.
Aah you tapes and print outs.
Break down, you old computer, break down.

I've been sittin 'ere the whole day through.
Starin' at this 'ere V.D.U.
A'looking at this blinkin' screen
Me eyes are crossed and me skin's turned green
I really hates this rotten job
Me wrists all ache an' me temples throb
The captain says I've got to stay
Until this works done - if it takes all day
Me discs are floppy when they should be hard
I'll chuck the bloody lot into the yard
Well its Microsoft and its 95
I'd rather be playing with me megadrive
The cats been at me mouse all night
Its got great tooth marks from a megabyte
Under me table there's an awful smell
The cats done something there as well
I work out the payrolls for the office staff
Gave myself a raise just for a laugh
When I gets me tea break I'll grab a pot
Pour it down the back and fuse the lot
Sent a fax of me arse off to The Sun
Next day it featured on page one
Now Sally in the office next to me
A fax of her boobs were on page three
Me laptops getting hot and there's a funny pong
Must have crossed me wires & plugged it in wrong
There's something rattles when I shakes it about
Doesn't even work when I gives it a clout
The first mate says that I'm a dead loss
Just 'cos I can't handle DOS
There's something wrong with me C.P.U
It just wont do what I want it to
I've got me an Apple and an Apricot too
If the future is Orange what will I do
The Macintosh they had has gone up in smoke
Left it out in the rain just for a joke
I've got so many Rams like a flock of sheep
I started to count 'em but I fell asleep
Me toggle won't joggle and me scanner won't scan
They're made in England -- with bits from Japan
I had an aching back so I went on the sick
The physio put it right with a double click
Me hand don't look quite right to me
I've got another thumb where me index used to be
Finished me work at 5 on the dot
Kicked out the plug and lost the lot
There's a monkey on me back been there all day
Serves me right taking peanuts for pay
I'll recycle this lot and make an answer phone
And when the boss calls I'll say I'm not home
This song it has no end, they say
That's where they're wrong 'cos I'm away