Ah wuz disserpointed to see Shiney Knause on this heer farum. He is a low down lier and rat. Sence he hab spoke so bad bout me, I muss teel the truff bout him.

Me and Shiney are identicated Chimese Twins. We bof got compleet bodys but we ar hooked togather. His nose is ertached to the low end ob my spine. Oir mommer say thet she went out wif her boyfiend, Tom and hiz brudder, Tom junyer. She say thay hab thair way wif her and got her stagnent. Then we wuz borned. She say thet Ah is Tom's boy but Shiney iz Tom Junyers. I bleeve it.

Shiney is a bitter feller frum havin to haver hiz nose at my butt, but thet is life. Yew gotta make the beast of it.

Last week, we moved heer to Alabamer and on oir first day, we wuz erested and chunked in jell. They say it iz a "morls charge" they holdin us on. They say butt kissin in pubic places aint aloud in Alabamer. I trod to splain it to them thet we wuz Chimese twins but they say "Tail it to the Juggs".

We still in jell but they have a liberry so the poiseners cud lern, thets how I git to play on the cumputter!

But ole Shiney, he dont lack it when I tail peepel he is a brown-noser and a suck-arse. It make him mad. Sumtime when he mad he bite my butt. But I gits back at him and eat sum spinnish and pintoes. Boy! He turn green!!!

So dont lissen to enythang he say caws hiz brane iz been comtamernatred over the yearz by persion gasses from my arse.

I wanna take Kinkydu's quiz sence bee-dubyell felled it so mizzerbly and I wont cheet like him caws I wont wair no Googles!

1 Thetd be eazy. The band iz dino dezzy and billy. I thank the drumber is dezzy. His daddy wuz thet Ardo feller on "Isle Uv Lucy" on Teevee. I dont knoe whos daddy wuz billys.

2 Your wise men don't know how it feels to be...erested in Alabamer on a morls charge.

3 Hooter and the Blowjobs sucked on the Dylan song "Idjit Wind"

4Blues Magoos? I don't knoe him, but I knue Red Magoos, he lived down thair on the Perkins place, the one thet had the bent cat. Peepel'd cum fer miles to see thet bent cat, we never did knoe how the dammed thang got bent though. Ole Red Magoos allus spekerlated it wuz in a car reck, but I never did see no cat drive a car. Red had a hit once. He sed it was ascid er sumpn lack it. He also called it Ellis Dee or eether Ellis Dee solt it to him. He went boggers affer thet.

5 Hotel California...Thet querschun kin be fingered out usin gudd old logic. The preecher thru him out and locked the door, so the boy hab to go summers, so he checked in to the Hotl Californee.

6 Lap slide player?? Iz thet enythang lack a slidin bored player?

7 Quentin Collins? I knue Finus Collins and he hab a hole passel uv kids, I thank thair'us one named Quentin, but No body played wif him caws he wuz allsu gittin in to trubbel. Old Finus finly run him off.

8"------ bound" Thets eazy. My mommer allus sung it to us. It wuz "Whupped and bound, whupped and bound, it's gudd to be whupped and bound".

9 Musta been old Grover Glover who kilt his own maw. He tuk some of thet Ellis Dee wif Red Magoo. He went rinkydink in hiz haid too. Kilt the bent cat.

10...Roger Miller did it and Janis Joplin did it and beedubell say it wuz him an Bobby Magee they did. I dont knoe, beedubyell but I warnt be tellin everboddy thet. They mite git the rong ideer. I knoed old man Magee was a odd'un but I didn't knoe Bobby wuz.

Now, bout them spaw farts, old Shiney cud anser thet, he the fart pro!

Sheeney Knause