I learned differnet lyrics years ago (late 70s):

Anyone know the author?


GRANDFATHER'S CLOCK

My Grandfather's clock was too large for the shelf so it stood 90 years on the floor.
It was taller by half that the old man himself though it weighed not a penny-weight more.
And though years would congeal Grampa's brain to Malto-meal
He had one wish that would not be denied.
For his will said to bury him in the clock when the old man died.


Now Grandfather's grandfather built him the clock and he built it like no clock before.
But the old so-and-so built it so high and wide that we can't fit it out through the door
So when Grandma'd been calmed and Grampa'd been embalmed
We discovered the clock was too wide.
But the God damn cadaver had gotten jammed: He was stuck inside.


Now old Grampa-pa-pa's standing there in the hall at nine-seventeen Cherry Lane,
And he stands, the old cuss, making faces at us which we try to ignore just the same.
But we still think of him as we, haggard, pale and grim,
Stagger in to the cold morning's light.
'Cause at odd times he's ringing the blasted chimes every God damn night!

So at 3:22 am - My God! There goes Gramps again.
At odd times he's ringing the blasted chimes every God damn night!