Speaking of crotches and electric fences. Many years ago I became one of the first in my area to get one of those underground electric fences which require that the dog wears a receiver collar which beeps as the dog approaches the wire, and if the dog continues, shocks him through metal studs in the collar. I had two Irish Setters, who always wanted to migrate south with the geese etc. I thought this was the perfect answer, and bought the system, trained the dogs, and life (and the garden) was good.

I was also told that if I needed to take the dogs out of the yard, all I needed to do was remove the collar, and lead them out to the car.

What I was not told was never put the collars in your front pockets, before heading for the car.

I faintly heard the beeps before my crotch exploded...

And the dogs kindly licked my face as I twisted on the ground, screaming as I tore at my pockets...

Dogs do not have "Heh Heh" in their vocabulary... do they?