Lyr. Add: DOUBLE-BREASTED MANSION
(James Grafton Rogers)

Key C
How well I remember, not many years ago,
The drummers used to hang around my store.
They would drink up all my whiskey
and they'd smoke up my cigars.
And my servant girls they'd "mash"
behind the door.
But now the times have changed
and I am growing poor,
Of the free lunch I can always
eat my share.
And I think about the Sweitzer cheese
and I always used to eat
In my double-breasted mansion on the square.

Chorus:
Oh! her roof was copper-bottomed
and her chimneys solid gold,
And an elevator placed on every stair,
But I lost a lot at Keno
and I'll never more behold
My double-breasted mansion on the square.

Forty million head of cattle
used to roam around our farm,
And each hog he had a splendid feather bed,
We had male and female roosters,
and they liked their whiskey warm,
They were of Shanghai, Cochin China breed.
Our corn fields yielded butter
and the orchards yielded lard,
We used to sow and reap the mellow pear,
But I lost a lot at Keno
and I'll never more behold
That double-breasted mansion on the square.

E-8. James Grafton Rogers, 1973, "A Golden Treasury," p. 31, published by the prestigious University Club of Denver, Rogers' home in later years. The song is typical of the tales told at the bar in western towns by failed western tycoons (and bums) trying to cadge drinks.
Rogers wrote "Old Dolores" (this thread) and many other poems collected later in "A Golden Treasury." He sang most of them, but seldom indicated more than the key. I once heard that he sang this one to a tune modified from "Little Joe The Wrangler."