And from waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay out West in Idaho:

Me, too. Been there with the depression, and I had it for at least twenty years before I recognized it and got it treated.

You can't change the past and you can't wallow in it, but you CAN learn from it. And you can't even guess what the future holds: it's like a book you can only tell a little about but which you will have to read. Fortunately, you can help write the book by using what you learned in the past to assist in guiding your present -- and the present helps to write the future.

Don't let them take you off the meds all at once -- if you're on an SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor), for instance, you have to taper off. Otherwise the whole gloomy mess can come back worse than before -- I've seen it happen to others.

Make music, too. It helps to put your feelings into music and either let them go or have others share them.