The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #59418 Message #959490
Posted By: Bee-dubya-ell
26-May-03 - 08:06 PM
Thread Name: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Well, folks, I'm back from my annual pilgrimage to The Florida Folk Festival way down upon the Suwannee River and I'm here to tell you that life can certainly take some funny turns while you're out in the woods fending off the ticks and chiggers. As you may recall from my pre-festival posts, Mr. Slimuel J. (Slim) Piggins, a Vietnamese potbellied pig, had agreed to become the Porcine Party's candidate for King of Mississippi and I had agreed to be his campaign manager. I was greatly looking forward to assisting Mr. Piggins in his bid to oust the reprobate inbred King khandu from that hallowed throne. I had planned on beginning my tenure in that position upon my safe arrival home from the festival, and hoped that Mr. Piggins would await my counsel before beginning his campaign in earnest.
However, unbeknownst to me, Mr. Piggins decided to take it into his head to do a little campaigning while I was off pickin' and such. In fact, ole Slim decided to make an appearance at a Memorial Day barbecue hosted by a volunteer fire department over in the Biloxi, Mississippi area and there seems to have been a bit of a misunderstanding. I can't really blame the volunteer firemen for what happened because I doubt they had ever seen a Vietnamese potbellied pig running for King of Mississippi before. Anyway, ole Slim came trottin' up to the barbecue with a basketful of "Vote for Slim" balloons and this ole boy named Ralph held out an apple and said, "Nice piggy", and ole Slim bein' a sucker for a good apple... well, there's really no gentle way to put it... in just a few minutes poor ole Slim wasn't just at the barbecue, he was the barbecue.
So, now I find myself lost in the vacuum I have created for myself by my own feckless and opportunistic nature. I have alienated myself from my King and seriously doubt that getting back in his good graces is in the cards. And the chances of any other domestic farm animals running for public office and needing a campaign manager just don't look too promising. (Well, there is that one horse's ass that's in The White House, but I think he's already got someone in mind.) Perhaps I will just go back to being an idjit as it seems to be the calling to which I am best suited.