Up in the North West of England there is a delicacy local to Cumberland in the Lake District - The Cumberland Sausage. Looks like a huge curled up dog turd bust tastes deleicious. I find the ones made in Waberthwaite particularly tasty but enough of my tastes! I was taken with a sudden urge to write a parody, something I have never done before but I could not resist here:-) Could only be done in the right circumstances but feel free if you are so inclined...

Westward from the A6 'tis there 'twas said to lie
The noble food of Cumberland for which my grandad pined;
Seeking golden gravy, leaving fish and chips behind;
And a long-forgotten lonely cairn of plastic trays.

cho: Ah, for just one time I would eat the Northwest sausage
To find the hand of Grandad reaching for the Irish sea;
Tracing one warm line through a land so wild and savage
And eat a Northwest sausage for my tea.

Many years thereafter, I take passage overland
In the footsteps of the old man, where his sea of sauce began
Watching chip shops rise before me. They don't half stink again!
This tardiest escofier, driving hard across the plain.

And through the night, behind the wheel, the mileage clicking west
I think upon Hollands Pies, Yorkshire puddings and the rest
Which cracked the hunger pains and soaked up beer for me
Until I had to stop quick for a pee.

How then am I so different from the first men through this way?
Like them, I ate some settlers, but then threw them all away.
To seek a Northwest sausage is the call of many men
They find them but they throw them up again.