Ha! Ha! Ha! I think Mario's is the worst so far. (Although Kat's is incredibly tacky.) Peter, of course, is as incomparable as ever, and has just completely trashed adult fantasy involving young women and dragons.

I'm gonna paste in my own deathless prose which started this:

Most people at Joyce-Aylwin & Company didn't like Vance Aylwin very much, but they did envy him. Jennifer had heard him described once as "brutally handsome", and it fit. From the slightly cruel jawline to the steely blue eyes that seemed to peel a woman's clothes off with a glance, he was a certified Beverly Hills stud, and he knew it. And he was rich. More than rich in fact. He oozed money from every pore. You could see it in the tailored suits, the Italian shoes, and the one-of-a-kind silk neckties. Vance Aylwin was filthy rich.

What really burned Jennifer's cookies was she was obscurely attracted to the man for some reason. Was it his arrogance? Was it his corporate power? Was it just his looks? Or was it something less obvious, some mysterious inner quality that didn't show on the surface, but still tickled Jennifer's feminine intuition and kept her awake far too late at night?

It would bear looking into, she thought, examining her cuticles for the nineteenth time and checking her lip gloss in the mirror for good measure. She had a meeting scheduled with Vance Aylwin for 6 O'Clock at the Coocoo Bird Lounge, and she intended to make the most of it...



Now here's a little inside tip from the author (me). Instead of plowing through 300 more pages of the sort of drek shown above, sprinkled with the obligatory melodramatic sex scene every 40 or so pages, why not just directly ask the author (me) what it is that causes Jennifer to be so drawn to the complete asshole that Vance Aylwin so obviously is?

Here it is, in a nutshell. Jennifer is a shallow, tawdry, acquisitive, materialistic little tart who is bored and frustrated, due to the total spiritual emptiness of her idiotic life. She is willing to do anything to relieve that boredom, no matter how stupid it is. She represents the dreams and inner yearnings of a host of people much like herself who will never get the chance to be screwed by someone as rich as Vance Aylwin, and that's why these books sell like hotcakes. Gotta love it!

- LH