Today I mowed that lawn but there was cat crap on the grass,
Yes, I mowed that lawn, but there was cat crap on the grass,
Now my shoes are reeking, like some evil feline's made a pass.

I tried to clean my shoes, I tried to scrape it on the ground,
I tried to clean my shoes, I tried to scrape it on the ground,
But all I'm doing is spreading the damn stuff all around.

My wife says "Boy, don't you come in till it's right,
You smell something awful, don't you come in till it's right."
Now the cat's on the sofa, and I'm still out in the night.

Cat's cosy on the sofa, and things just ain't as they ought,
I'm locked in the garden, no things ain't as they ought.
Tell me, what'll I do? I feel my time is getting very short.

Oh you hard hearted mamma, won't you let me in, I pray.
Oh you hard hearted mamma, won't you let me in, I pray.
Or at least just opem up the window, and hand me out the cat's litter tray.