I don't have a theory, just a plan. Although I'm generally known here as a squirrel, I'm actually a rat, wearing a fake bushy tail. Thus I've gained entre to the public park "scene". Never underestimate the power of cuteness.

   But my plan for global domination depends upon a secret society of bitter middle-children, who infiltrate every corner of the world, every platform of power, and whose wrath I've harnessed for my own twisted and sinister ends.