You could tell just by lookin at her that she was a skank clear through not in spite of or irregardless of the fact that she liked to pretend she was somebody importatn in this town. She called herself Brittney and she figgered she was hot. Well maybe she was hot but bein hot aint everything although it beats bein ugly or dead. I have spent time with nice girls and I have spent time with skanks and I know the difference! Brittney was not a nice girl. Matter of fact she was a sleeze of the worst kind but she tried to cover it up by using big words...like "optimistic".

That's what she said I was to ask her out. "Optimistic". That was her way of bein smart.

"You dont have to be optimistic when your playin with four aces, baby." Thats what I said to her.

She's like, "Where are they? Stuffed down your pants?"

I'm like, "Put your hand in and see."

She's like, "Flip off, you jerk!"

I'm like, "I was hopin we could do that together. How about a toke on Bobo?"

That's when she threw the bottle of beer at me. Lucky I got fast reflexes. It went past my head and busted the mirror behind the bar. What a mess. "Now you done it," I says to her.

That was when she went for me with the pool cue and nice girls dont do stuff like that. I dont hit girls but I shoulda hit this one. On account of her I got throwed out of the Iron Horse a hour before last call and I have put more time and money into that place than she ever did. Girls dont play fair when they are mad or any other time either. You cant trust em no farther than a turtle can spit.

Life in Blind River. It aint paradise, but it's home.

- BDiBR (p.s. I got sober for a hour before I wrote that. every word of it is true.)