The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #60267 Message #963780
Posted By: GUEST,Tom Riddle
07-Jun-03 - 06:27 PM
Thread Name: BS: What Will Harry Do?
Subject: BS: What Will Harry Do?
The next "Harry Potter" book will be out in 14 days. What do you think will happen? I know!
*Dumbledore will reveal to Harry that Lilly Potter had a fling with a chap she met in a bar in Hogsmeade one evening when James was out of the country. Harry was the result -- and the son of Voldemort.
*Harry will discover that both Ginny and Hermione are really quite, quite attractive and will set up with both of them. Ron, put out by Harry's unfaithfulness, will take up with Neville Longbottom.
*Gred and Feorge (or whatever there names are) will open their joke shop. Unfortunately, several of the jokes will go awry; they will be sued and lose everything except one rubber-chicken-wand. Harry, Ginny and Hermione on his arms, will not recognize them as he passes them busking on Platform 9 3/4.
*Minerva McGonigal will be revealed as The Great Mc Gonigle; she will then take to the music hall circuit and retire quite wealthy.
*Draco Malfoy will catch Crabbe and Goyle "in flagrante delicto," and will use the Coitus Interruptus curse on them.
*Severus Snape will discover Draco's use of the curse and give him the ass-whomping the little brat so richly deserves. Draco will whine to his father, who, agreeing with Snape's assessment, will use the Posteriori Flagenti curse on the little snot.
*Albus Dumbledore will stand revealed.