now this is the version we do - anyone noticed how "Uncle Joe's Mint balls" sound VERY similar? - Michael!

My Old Man's A Dustman Lonnie Donegan


Now here's a little story to tell it is a must
About an unsung hero that moves away your dust
Some people make a fortune other's earn a mint
My old man don't earn much
In fact....he's flippin'.....skint

Oh! my old man's a dustman he wears a dustman's hat
He wears cor blimey trousers and he lives in a council flat
He looks a proper narner in his great big hob nailed boots
He's got such a job to pull em up that he calls them daisy roots

Some folks give tips at Christmas and some of them forget
So when he picks their bins up he spills some on the steps
Now one old man got nasty and to the council wrote
Next time my old man went 'round there he punched him up the throat

chorus
(Spoken) I say I say Duncan! I 'er...I found a police dog in my dustbin
(How do you know he's a police dog?) He had a policeman with him

Though my old man's a dustman he's got a heart of gold
He got married recently though he's 86 years old
We said 'Ear! Hang on Dad you're getting past your prime'
He said 'Well when you get to my age it helps to pass the time'

chorus
(Spoken)I say I say I say! My dustbins full of lillies
(Well throw 'em away then) I can't Lilly's wearing them

Now one day while in a hurry he missed a lady's bin
He hadn't gone but a few yards when she chased after him
'What game do you think you're playing' she cried right from the heart
'You've missed me...am I too late?' 'No... jump up on the cart'

chorus
(Spoken)I say I say I say (What you again!) My dustbin's absolutely full with toadstools
(How do you know it's full) 'Cos there's not much room inside

He found a tiger's head one day, nailed to a piece of wood
The tiger looked quite miserable but I suppose it should
Just then from out a window, a voice began to wail
He said (Oi! Where's me tiger head) Four foot from it's tail

Oh! my old man's a dustman he wears a dustman's hat
He wears cor blimey trousers and he lives in a council flat
So next time you see a dustman looking all pale and sad
Don't kick him in the dustbin it might be my old dad