Aha! We now have several worthy new applicants for the Master Procrastinators of the Western World, located in beautiful downtown Orillia, the Mecca of procrastination. This is good. Noreen, Morticia, and lady penelope are all in with flying colors, and Liz the Squeak has provided new evidence which will cause the Board of the MPWW to reconsider terminating her membership.

To give you an idea of what it takes to become a master procrastinator...there is a man in this town who has been planning to shave for the last 15 years, but he just hasn't gotten around to it yet. He tripped on his beard last week and sustained a bruised shin. There was also a shopping mall, "Quetton Place", scheduled to be constructed at Washago, north of here, back in the early 80's. It was never built. They finally took down the sign announcing its imminent arrival a couple of years ago. The lot where it was to have been built is still vacant, but is supporting some interesting varieties of local plant life. Then there's the Champlain Hotel in the middle of downtown Orillia...it has been closed up (awaiting renovation) for about ten years now. No one can afford to do the job, so there it sits.

One guy who does not procrastinate well is George Bush, Jr., and you see the results...war and disaster. He should take a lesson or two from Jean Chretien (Canada's prime minister), who is better at doing nothing than most people are at doing anything. Jean Chretien is a source of inspiration to us all.

- LH