Closest I could find was from The Benny Hill Song Book

Moving On Again

Here I stand at the railroad track,
The memory of her, it keeps calling me back.
And hoo-ee goes that old freight train,
Telling me I should be moving on again, and on.
I went to rent a lady's house, she handed me the key,
She said, "It's to be let like this with all that you can see."
"And are you to be let with the house?" said I in a most expectant tone,
She said, "I'm not be let with the house, I'm to be let alone." So,

Here I stand by the railroad track,
The memory of her, it keeps calling me back.
But hoo-ee goes that old freight train,
Telling me I should be moving on again, and on.
I met a rich old widow, she was 85 years old,
But coming from a dance one night she caught a nasty cold.
We rubbed her back with whiskey to try and cure her cough,
And then she went and broke her neck trying to lick it off.

So, here I stand by the railroad track,
The memory of her, it keeps calling me back.
But hoo-ee goes that old freight train,
Telling me I should be moving on again, and on.
I took my friend, McTavish, to Rosie's house for tea,
She said, "What's that thing on your lap just above your knee?"
He said, "Oh that's my sporran, ma'am," she said, "Well goodness sake,
For two whole hours I've been trying to feed it chocolate cake."

Here I stand by the railroad track,
The memory of her, it keeps calling me back.
And hoo-ee goes that old freight train,
Telling me I should be moving on again, and on.
All my lonely nights are over now that I've met Claire,
She's the fat, tattooed lady from the local fair.
But since I have been wed to her, a paradise I've found,
I've got heat in the winterand shade in the summer and pictures all year 'round.

No more will I stand at the railroad track,
With the memory of her a-calling me back.
And hoo-ee can go that old freight train,
But I'm never moving on again.

John