GUIDE CATS FOR THE BLIND
(Les Barker)

The word futile springs to mind
Mission Impossible, yes that's
The attempt to harness for mankind
The intelligence of cats
You've made a basic error
Now let me expound
This master/servant thing's okay
But no, not that way round
We don't do the faithful subject
We don't do the daily grind
You never should have attempted it
Guide cats for the Blind


Give kitty so much trust
And we'll abuse the privelege
You think you're going out?
You're opening the fridge
You think I'm trying to help you?
I'm not serving man but Mammon
You think you've gained a faithful friend
You've lost a plate of salmon
I might lead you down the High Street
I'll be back when I have dined
We get very, very hungry
Being Guide Cats for the Blind

It can't be very pleasant
Of this I've little doubt
To have your head stuck in a catflap
Whether facing in or out
You could be here a day or two
With half you out in the rain
I've got to go, I've got things to do
Maybe I'll pass this way again
A dog would go for help
Cats are not that way inclined
Cats have better things to do than being
Guide Cats for the blind

Of some matters I am ignorant
But this I know for certain
The best place for a blind man
Is not halfway up a curtain
And why do they have to be
Up on a roof at 4am?
It's the perfect place for me to be
But what's in it for them?
It was where I had to go
And he just tags behind
I don't know why, only a fool would follow
Guide cats for the blind