Quite a while back, I posted a request for the words to Homer & Jethro's version of Kooliger. Nobody knew.

Since then, I have scratched my head real hard and I think I have remembered them right. Here it is. If anyone has corrections, correct away.

Kooliger, the Wooden Indian

Kooliger was a wooden Indian.
He didn't know what to do.
He fell in love with an Indian maid
and she was a wood 'un too.
Kooliger, eeeyooowh!
For that Indian maid his heart did pine.
But her heart was full of turpentine.

She was the daughter of Sittin' Bull,
This wooden Indian dame.
She told Kooliger that
Squatin' Heifer was her name.
Kooliger, eeeyooowh!
He loved that gal with all his heart and soul.
But he was low man on the totem pole.

Poor ol' Kooliger, he never got a kiss.
Poor ol' Kooliger, he don't know what he missed.
It isn't any wonder that his face is red.
Kooliger's got termites in his head.

Kooliger never milked the cows.
He didn't have the pull.
He just put the bucket under them
and pumped the bucket full.
Kooliger, eeeyooowh!
When the cows would see him coming they would wail,
"Here comes old icy fingers with his pail!"

Poor ol' Kooliger, he finally got a wife.
She made him shave his whiskers off
with his huntin' knife.
It isn't any wonder he ain't around today.
He shaved too close and whittled hisself away.