Actually, I didn't write that one, noddy. Someone sent it to me in an e-mail. Okay, I rewrote a few words of it to make it slightly better (worse). A few grammatical errors, etc. But I see I still forgot an apostrophe.

Well done, Greg. Reminds me of a lot of the dreck I read as a gawky, spotty teenager. I think Conan the Librarian still needs to be written. Have a bash.