Aaargh! That wench! Filled up a poor spirit with spirits, she did!

Do ye know that a ghost with a hangover might never get rid of it? 'Tis true! How can ye pray for a death cure when ye're already dead? There's but one cure fer it, and that's a hair of the grog that bit ye, and I'll be going for one.

That thingie on the shore in the pichur. They said it was a giant squid first, and now a sperm whale. Well, there be more things in the seas, lads and lasses, than ye can think on.

Old Looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong John knows what that is. And he knows the right of it, too.

Ye see, sperm whales and giant squids be mortal enemies. They go at it whenever they meet, cutlass to cutlass and broadside to broadside, ye might say. And they've been this way since the seas filled up.

But not all of them. Some, for some reason, would rather, well, ye landlubbers used ta say, make love not war. Truth ta tell, some of the fights seen by crews onboard passing ships be not fights at all, but amorous wrasslin' by two critters that have become, well, friendly-like. O' course, it's usually a fight to the death, or an amorous spermy mistakes an unfriendly squid or t'other way round, and then there are more sparks a-flyin' than St. Elmo's Fire in a first class ship o' the line!

Like I was sayin' tho, sometimes two friendly-disposed critters meet and have themselves a bit o' fun playin' hide-the-duckie. And if ya think of it, they're not call "sperm" whales nor "giant" squid fer nothin'. Anyways, sometimes a wee one comes of the couplin'.

Those who, like meself, wear clothes truly stained with salt water don't talk about these kids much, truth ta tell, not at all except 'mongst ourselves, when the run is good and the hour late. But when y've seen one, part squid and part spermy, y'll never fergit it.

Anyway, that's what the poor critter is that washed up on that beach in Chile: a squale, we calls it, or some as calls it a giant sperm. What the learned boyos have done is taken flesh samples from different parts, and that's what makes them think it's first one thing and then t'other, because, ye see, it's both.

An' now ye know the truth of it, an' like they say, "in vino very good" and ye could offer a poor dead spirit spirits.