With apologies to Billy Joel

The Ballad of Billy The Squid

From a stream close to Wheeling West Virginia
swam a squid with eight arms but no hands
And his daring in the brine made him a legend in his time
East and west of the Rio Grande
Well he started on a sandbank near New Guinea
In his tentacles a boiling rage he hid
And his age and his size took the sailors by surprise
And the word spread of Billy the Squid

Well he never traveled heavy,
Yes he always swam alone,
And he soon put many older squids to shame
Well he never had a sweetheart
And he never had a home
But the sailors and the merchants knew his name

Well he sank some ships from Hawaii to Nova Scotia
And the Fishermen couldn't seem to track him down
And it served his legend well
For the folks just loved to tell
'Bout when Billy the Squid made men drown

One cold day a fishing net captured Billy
And the fishermen strung him up for what he did
And the sailors and their kin
Like the sea came pouring in to watch
The fryin' of Billy the Squid

Well he never traveled heavy,
Yes he always swam alone,
And he soon put many older squids to shame
Well he never had a sweetheart
Tho' he finally found a home
In the Calamari shack that bears his name

From a sound known as Oysterbay, Long Island
swam a squid with eight arms but no hands
And his daring in the brine made him a legend in his time
East and west of the Rio Grande