LOL! The misfortunes continue...

How about...

"George Bush will decide that you are a threat to World Peace and take 'serious measures' against you within the next calendar year."

"Your dog thinks you have really bad breath!"

"You pig! The kitchen staff bet you couldn't eat that much and still walk. Let's see if they were right. Get up sl-o-o-o-ow-ly now...easy does it..."

- LH