Harry took off his robes and gazed into the Mirror of Arisaid. "Oh, man," he breathed, "if only I WAS built like that!"
    --
"Harry," said Ron breathily, "Harry, I've wanted to tell you something for a very long time, Harry."
    --
"Well, for goodness sakes, Weasley," said Seamus, settling the front of his robe. "Why do you think he's called Longbottom, anyway? Neville's family name is Smith."
    --
His robes vanished, and with a big grin Harry plunged into the traditional Gryffyndor House Cup Orgy.
    --
"Huhmf!" Madame Maxime sniffed scornfully. "Not EVERYTHING about you is gigantique, 'agrid."
    --
"Of course Fred and George are going blind, Potter! They're Beaters, after all."
    --
"Now, class," said Hagrid, "I've arranged for a special treat. I think you'll enjoy this, all of ya. Today, we're studying Satyrs and Nymphs, and here they come now!"
    --
"It was horrible," gasped Hermione, "just horrible. I never thought...I never suspected...in the teachers' lounge...McGonigle and Dumbledore...naked...."
    --
Madame Pomfrey sniffed. "Yes, Potter, you have hogwarts, and I have to report it to the Ministry of Public Health. And stay away from those Slytherin girls in the future!"