Guest Boab D mentions the Hartleypool Monkey, which reminds that I've heard a song about the incident. I turned up the lyrics, with a reference to the tune (which I don't know). Here's the scoop:

"It was written in the early 1960s by Teessider Alan Wilkinson, but despite considerable searching, I've been unable to find out much more about either the song or the author. There has been much correspondence on the internet involving people in various countries, and Vin himself has even appealed to the audience at one of his Teesside gigs, but all to no avail.

If anyone can shed further light on this relatively recent song, I'd be interested in the information. (You can contact me via MB.)

So here it is, to the tune of the (now very politically incorrect) song "The Darkies' Sunday School", but I'm sure most of you will know it anyway:

The Hartlepool Monkey

By Alan Wilkinson

Well, it happened up in Hartlepool, about the time of France,
The Emperor Napoleon was leading us a dance,
When up along the coast came a British man of war,
And the captain's old pet monkey got washed up on the shore.

Chorus
Old folks, young folks, everyone and each,
Come and see the Frenchie who's landed on the beach,
He's got long arms, a great long tail, he's covered all in hair,
We think that he's a spy so we'll hang him in the square.

The Lord Mayor of Hartlepool was walking down the shore,
When he saw a funny sight, he'd never seen before,
Sitting in the sand was a little hairy man,
Clutching a banana in his little hairy hand.

Chorus

The Lord Mayor fetched the Town Clerk and they both went to the shore,
And there they found this little man, where he had been before.
A crowd had gathered round him, 'cos he was the strangest sight,
Since the sporting club caught fire on the previous Friday night.

Chorus

Constable Parsons, he hurried to the scene,
He viewed the situation and he licked his pencil clean.
He said 'Causing a disturbance is a serious offence,
And everything you say it will go down in evidence'.

Chorus

When this little man spoke, a funny thing was heard,
And Constable Parsons couldn't understand a word.
The reason for his puzzlement the crowd could plainly see,
This little man's a Frenchie from far across the sea.

Chorus

The little man's a French spy, the angry crowd did roar,
Sent over by Napoleon to invade our native shore.
They grabbed the little fellow by his long and hairy tail,
And handed him to Parsons, who hoyed him into jail.

Chorus

So they hung this little Frenchie from the gallows in the town,
With a rope around his little neck, and his tail all hanging down,
As a warning to Napoleon to make himself the rule,
Not to send his little hairy spies to dear old Hartlepool.

Chorus

This is the (only slightly modified) version which is quite often heard in Cotswold pubs. It usually goes down better with American tourists than with the English. Perhaps they are just more polite, though. Rambling Sid Stepho"

Secondly, Boab D expresses the desire to name a pub the Moan Inn. Here in my town of Amherst, Massachusetts, we've got a pub called the Moan and Dove. Quite British, I think, but rather cryptic.

Jerry