Marion,

It's a tough call--but look at it in the context of the Song as an entity that now exists, expressing an emotion You experienced upon hearing this story. While it started with someone else's grief, it's your song. If the mother doesn't like it, does it make your grief less valid? Would you offer to change the song? I wouldn't change it, so I guess I wouldn't feel obilgated to somehow ask permission to sing it. Give the song a few airings, get a feel for it yourself. Perhaps sending a recording of the completed song to the mother would do two things: it would be a comfort to her, something she can listen to when she feels the urge (I asked about songs of grief last year and several good suggestions from Mudcatters became wonderful outlets for my saddness at the passing of a good friend). By sending a recording instead you're not trying to figure out how to ask for approval that might end up compromising the song, or make it seem less your work of art.

I say that even though I know that "art" can wound, and can serve malicious ends. A song that expresses the sentiments you say you felt, what can be the harm? I think it could only help.

SRS